Programs / High-conflict marriage
If you are not safe at home, please read the crisis resources page first.
Spend less time on who's right, and more on what keeps happening between you.
By the time a marriage feels like a battlefield, both people are asking which of them is causing the problem. I ask something different: what keeps happening between you, and what is each of you feeding into it. And where there has been a real injury, the question I'd ask isn't how to get past it quickly. It's what has to happen for safety and trust to have a chance of being rebuilt.
It's the same method I teach to professionals, written here for you and your own life. It's coaching and education, not a substitute for professional care.
A few minutes with me first
PLACEHOLDER: Welcome to the High-Conflict Marriage program
Video, about 2 min
The question underneath
The question you come in with, and the one worth asking instead.
When the Relationship Becomes the Battlefield
“Which partner is causing the problem?”
“What keeps happening between them, and what is each one feeding it?”
After the Injury
“How do we get past this?”
“What has to happen for safety and trust to have any chance of being rebuilt?”
What’s inside
Part 1
When the Relationship Becomes the Battlefield
We step back from who started it and look at the pattern the two of you keep repeating, and at what you, specifically, feed into it. That's the part you can do something about.
Part 2
After the Injury
When something has really hurt the marriage, getting past it quickly usually isn't the goal. This part looks at what safety and trust need in order to have a chance of being rebuilt.
How to join
- Format
PLACEHOLDER: program format
- Price
PLACEHOLDER: program price
Not sure this is your pattern? Take the quiz first
What people say
“After more than 20 years of marriage, we had become roommates who knew exactly how to hurt each other. There was so much history and resentment that I honestly wasn’t sure anything could change anymore. Somehow he helped us slow everything down and start seeing the person underneath all the frustration. We are closer now than we have been in years, and for the first time in a very long time, I actually feel hopeful about us.”
R.P.
Married more than 20 years
Questions
Is this right for us if things are really hard?
PLACEHOLDER: answer, Noam to write
Does my spouse need to join me?
PLACEHOLDER: answer, Noam to write
How is it delivered, and how long does it take?
PLACEHOLDER: answer, Noam to write
What if I'm not safe at home?
PLACEHOLDER: answer, Noam to write