Programs / Young marrieds

Build the marriage you meant to, starting with the first years.

Most young couples think the assignment is to communicate better. I see it a little differently. The work is learning to talk so that defensiveness stops being necessary, and to fight in a way that does less damage and tells more truth, so the disagreements you're going to have anyway build the marriage instead of wearing it down.

It's the same method I teach to professionals, written here for you and your own life. It's coaching and education, not a substitute for professional care.

How to join ↓Take the quiz first

A few minutes with me first

The question underneath

The question you come in with, and the one worth asking instead.

• The Formative Years

  “Why isn't my partner doing this the way I expected?”

  →“How do we build a relationship that works for both of us?”

• Communication That Actually Works

  “We need to communicate better.”

  →“How do we talk so that defensiveness stops being necessary?”

• Fighting Better

  “How do we stop fighting?”

  →“How do we fight in a way that does less damage and reveals more truth?”

What’s inside

1. Part 1

   The Formative Years

   What you pictured a marriage would look like and what your partner pictured are often not quite the same picture. You'll learn to notice the gap early, and to build a way of living together that works for both of you.

2. Part 2

   Communication That Actually Works

   We look at what happens inside you when a conversation turns tense, and how to talk so that you don't have to defend yourself so much. That's usually what changes how a conversation goes.

3. Part 3

   Fighting Better

   Every marriage has arguments. This part is about having yours in a way that does less damage and lets more of what's true come out.

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